"Morning Post" Wellington, N.Z.
13 Dec
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FROM ANOTHER PLANET
Sir,—As a pilot of one of the so-named "Flying Saucers," I wish to correct several errors with regard to one of the latest additions to your stratosphere.
We are not optical illusions, although the limited intelligence of your public tends to regard anything that it cannot explain as such. We come from a planet that, despite your contrary scientific assertion, is actually inhabited. We have been visiting your world for some time and, had your citizens been able to lift their heads above their present level, we could not have remained unobserved for so long. We do not advertise our presence with loud noises such as you apparently find so necessary in your way of life, but we glide along quietly and serenely, and go further and faster than you will ever go.
We flew over Europe and saw the ruins of a past war. We looked in at Korea and saw the fury of a present one, and wondered why you must always be trying to kill each other. We did not linger over America as, in their civilised enthusiasm, they sent up scores of aircraft to destroy us or shoot us down, just to find out what we are. Is that the way to welcome visitors from another planet?
In desperation, we flew over to New Zealand, only to find a worried people, overburdened with the cost of living, taxation, travel, and even electric light charges. If this is your world, then I doubt our wisdom in coming here at all.
We thank you for your thought waves that tell us you consider us of a higher intelligence than any on Earth. Indeed, could we be lower? Might I add that the "hissing sound" heard by those who were fortunate enough to see us, is our polite opinion of your World in which we have no desire to remain.—I am, etc.,
SAMUEL THE SORCERER.